Chicken, over jerked.

Ok ladies, you know that crazed irritated voice silently screaming "seriously dude? hurry the fuck up!" while giving a BJ? [It's just you & I here, no need to be shy.] We all have been there at one point, and while the longer it lasts the better for him, we would prefer their love butter finale happen before we get lockjaw. Sure, maybe its a double standard [as we also prefer OUR pleasure to last] but SERIOUSLY, WHO HAS TIME FOR A HALF AN HOUR BLOW JOB? Not to mention, have you every heard of smokers wrinkles? Well you know what else is shaped like a cig? YEP. A dong. So what is the cause? How do we stop this madness? Rently my girlfriend experiancing this problem [probably as we speak] complained about how often her man was jerking himself off. He willingly admits to giving himself a handy EVERY DAY. You better hope that thing doesn't have an experation date buddy. Anyway it's getting to the point where Anna [who is a BJ vetran I might add, seriously, if blowjobs are songs, she is Justin Timberlake. She just keeps giving them and she lovesd doing it] was so frustrated that she couldn't get her man off that she started to give up. Recently he even asked her "Hey I really need to get off so can you just kiss me while I get this out?" and starts shakin the gravey. GUYS. NO. This is not acceptable. Being able to be in control and get your man to the point of an explosive love butter eruption is supposed to make a girl feel sexy and skilled. Like- thats right I can do you like that- BOOM. STOP JERKING THE CHICKEN EVERY DAMN DAY. Let your sexy lady take care of it for you. Build up some excitement. Don't make us AND YOU work so damn hard. Give it a rest, your wrist will even thank me. & girls, don't feel embarrassed if it's taking you longer than comfortable to get him to the finish line. It's probably not you!

xo,

a twenty something